13. Places We Go To Self-Assess

Pride, Hubris, Humility


Pride is a feeling of pleasure or celebration related to our accomplishments or efforts.


Hubris is an inflated sense of one’s own innate abilities that is tied more to the need for dominance than to actual accomplishments. It is negatively correlated with self-esteem and positively correlated with narcissism and shame-proneness.

The higher the hubris, the lower the self-esteem. The higher the hubris, the higher the narcissism and shame-proneness.


Narcissism is the shame-based fear of being ordinary.

For the narcissist, positive views of the self are too essential to leave to the whim of actual accomplishments, for they are what prevent the individual from succumbing to shame and low self-esteem.

Instead, narcissists come to experience a globalized ‘hubristic’ pride, characterized by feelings of arrogance and egotism, which is distinct from the more achievement-based and pro-social ‘authentic’ pride.”


Humility is openness to new learning combined with a balanced and accurate assessment of our contributions, including our strengths, imperfections, and opportunities for growth.

I’m here to get it right, not to be right.

Humility isn’t downplaying yourself or your accomplishments -- that's modesty, not humility. It’s also not low self-esteem or meekness or letting people walk all over you.

Pride can be good for us, hubris is dangerous, and humility is key to grounded confidence and healthy relationships.